I do love it when you
suck up on me
There is some trepidation surrounding sex and erotica. We spoke to a number of women to get a feel about what the general view is on the subject.
Montana Marley
Sam is the creative-force behind the Erotique Women website
Womyn : Why did you start the Erotique women's site?
Sam : I write erotica. The site started out as a need to provide women with high-class erotica. I think there are a lot of women who don't want to look through bad pornography or bad pictures. I provide what I call fully clothed stories.
Womyn : What is your vision for the site, where are you taking it?
Sam : Classy, well written stories, yet with a touch of smut somewhere. To provide a site that is exclusive, which is where the membership-only idea comes into it because I do not want everybody on the Internet reading what they like, doing what they like. There are going to be events around being able to offer advice, anything from advice on different sexual techniques and people also being able to take part in things like live S&M shows or a live chat with a dominatrix. Again, with an exclusivity mark on it. At the moment it's a very simple site and is hopefully going to be shaped by the members, which is why I am really keen on feedback.
Womyn : Who contributes the stories for the site?
Sam : People have given me material that I have to edit. I have a lot of material I have built up myself and from friends. I would like members to give me stories and they would be paid.
Womyn : How does erotica play out in your life?
Sam : I seek literature all the time, I am forever reading and it turns me on. I read it for titillation.
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"Reckless indulgence in extreme passions inevitably brings on serious illness. This is most evident in sexual intercourse. Since one falls ill this way, one may also get cured this way. This is similar to sobering up by drinking some wine"
Dr. Lee Tung-hsüan.
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Heaven Scent is an avid writer of erotica who has written for Womyn Magazine and contributes to the Erotique site.
Womyn : Why did you start writing erotica and are you published?
Heaven Scent : I have been published in Womyn magazine and I am busy working on a book and writing for erotiquewomen.co.za. I have been writing erotica for about 18 months. I used to do a lot of other writing. The erotica just came about. The book is about erotica, is about women and for women, for lesbians. It's not pornography, its erotica.
Womyn : Do you find there is information and open discussion for women regarding sex and erotica? Do you find specifically with lesbians that the community as a whole is a rather closed society?
Heaven Scent : Many women enjoy erotica. As women we need erotica sources to draw on for our own sexual aspirations. If we don't have them then we become cramped and limited in our own imagination. Our imaginations are what make us sexual beings, it's what makes a sexual experience enjoyable. Yes, our society is closed and it is because women aren't knowledgeable. They are not knowledgeable about their bodies. Many women still believe the lights should be off. That's fine for some. When your partner is down there between your legs, you visualise what her mouth is doing and what her fingers are doing, you do visualise and that is fantasy in itself. You don't necessarily have to fantasies about being gang raped by 20 women in a very pleasurable way. There are different kinds of fantasies and I think women need to be okay with them, to understand they don't need to feel guilty about them, no matter what their fantasies are. Every women is different. Some are experimental, some are not, and that's just fine too.
Connie Lingus, fondly referred to by her friends as the Sex Guru, and occasional writer of erotica.
Womyn : One-night stands?
Connie Lingus : I am involved now, but in my single days I was very into one-night encounters. I love the sex that comes with one-night stands, the meaninglessness of overnight relationships. I don't want to know her name or her history or see the design of her baggage. Its just sex. In fact, sex and then she must go home. Don' ask for coffee, don't stay over.
Womyn : Safe sex and enjoyment?
Connie Lingus : Sleeping with lesbians' means your chances of contracting HIV is very low. If you are sleeping with women who are bisexual, there is more of a risk. Then you must practise safe sex. Latex always comes in handy. There shouldn't be such a thing as a favourite position. You might enjoy standing up with one lover and 69 with another. Lesbian bed death is about people being closed to exploration and experimentation. It is about being used to one another and sticking with the same tired routine. They make one another come in seconds and the fun is gone. That's why so many relationships don't last. The sex looks greener on the other side. Many are anti-dildo because of penetration. There are some who say if you enjoy penetration you might as well be with a man. What bullshit. You've been given a vagina for a reason, and that is pleasure. It is the same thing with oral pleasure. Some women find it difficult to go down - well, then don't be a lesbian, or find someone who is just as uptight as you are.
Womyn : Multiple orgasms?
Connie Lingus : Four orgasms after one another, fifteen in a row. Goddess, I wish, but I am not one of them. Multiple orgasms over a day or evening, yes, but not one after the other. Women are lucky because we can have more than one orgasm. Men don't have stamina. Women tend to spend more time being sensual with one another and touching one another's bodies, doing things before you actually have an orgasm. Depends on what you're in the mood for.
Womyn : Women and lesbianism?
Connie Lingus : I think that most South African lesbians are sexually repressed and not very experimental. I think that this has allot to do with the fact that they are uncomfortable with their bodies. Because they are uncomfortable with their bodies they're not that willing to let themselves go. Many women who call themselves lesbians are lesbians because they are scared of sleeping with men. They were sexually abused by men, raped or feel threatened by men, whatever. Women are easier options for some of those women. Others are lesbians because they prefer sleeping with women. There are not many women who indulge in one-night stands. Most women have to feel something for a person first, get to know her, blah, blah.
Womyn : So all those big talking women and their desire for one-night stand quests are bogus?
Connie Lingus : Most of them, yes. Most women are too shy, too uptight, and too emotional for one-night stands. They can't fuck without emotion. They are so uptight about their bodies and their emotions that I would rather take out a sex toy and do myself.
Womyn : A view on long-term relationships?
Connie Lingus : It's the best. Sex with someone you really love is the peak. Keeping it the peak means you have to experiment and keep it exciting. I love wild and wonderful sex with someone whose body I know. I know her taste, her smell, everything. One-night stands are exciting for the difference, but a relationship is exciting for the love and intimacy.
