Do you want to try something new? Add variation to your sex life by experimenting with sex aids.

Learn about the different sex toys available and how to use them properly.

We also discuss the history of the vibrator, lubricants and safer sex

Caring for your sex toys

Caring for your toys is easy if you know the basics. Cover your toy with a condom if you don't want to bother with cleaning. But if you want to experience the texture of your toy without a condom, clean it carefully.

Basic toy cleaning tips:

• Most toys can be cleaned with a mild soap or special sex toy cleaner.
• Stay away from strong detergents as they will breakdown the material of many dildos.
• Rinse waterproof toys with hot water.
• Dab your toy with alcohol or hydrogen peroxide to disinfect it.
• Do not submerge your electrical vibrator in water.
• If your toy is not waterproof give your toy a "sponge bath" with a soapy wet cloth.
• Dry thoroughly. Most germs cannot live on a dry surface.
• It is best to wash your toy directly before and after use.

Different care for different toys:
As a general rule, porous material can be nicked more easily and allow bacteria and viruses to settle into these nicks.

Silicone: Vastly superior to rubber or vinyl dildos, silicone warms up quickly, retains body heat, is non-porous and easy to clean. Avoid small nicks and tears to your silicone toy, as silicone will break fairly easily once damaged. Run it through the dishwasher or boil it on the stove (3-5 minutes) and voila! - your toy is sterilised.

Jellies: Pretty, flexible and inexpensive, these dildos are made of beautiful jelly-like material. They are translucent, soft, flexible and look like they have air bubbles. They are made from non-porous rubber and can be cleaned with mild soap and hot water.

Rubber: Solid, flexible and often heavy, rubber dildos are porous and tend to be more difficult to clean. Rubber dildos should always be used with condoms. Clean with mild soap and hot water.

Cyberskin: Soft, supple and looks and feels remarkably like skin. Rinse with hot water. Disinfect by putting alcohol onto a cloth and rubbing lightly. Avoid soap or harsh detergents. To keep the silky feel, sprinkle with cornstarch or talc.
Exploring sex toys

Plenty of women use sex toys in their own masturbation play. But why not include your partner in the fun? There are many options on the market from toys that are built for two.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by this plethora of gadgets and gizmos. So in order to get comfortable with yourself, masturbate on your own to learn about the kind of sex toy and stimulation you like the best.

Many women, some estimates put it at 70%, have more orgasmic response with clitoral stimulation. Most vibrators are specifically designed for the clitoris. But you'll find there are many options beyond that.

You'll also want to experiment with the type of vibration as well. Some toys have stronger vibes than others and some now even have pulsing options.

Is it cheating?
It's usually easier to experiment on your own through masturbation and then apply that to your partnered relationship. However, that doesn't work for everyone.

Sometimes there is the concern that masturbating with a toy without the involvement of your partner gives the impression that you didn't "need" them sexually anymore, some even equate it to cheating on their partners.

Sex toys are not meant to replace anyone, they can be used to expand and enrich your sex life. And there are many men who are tired of initiating everything sexual in their relationships; in fact it would be a turn-on for them to have their partner add something new.

Ultimately, you know your relationship best. If your partner is someone you feel comfortable enough with to just surprise them one evening, then go for it. If you're concerned about one of the issues above, perhaps shop for a vibe together.

Get your partner involved in the process
You can both begin to experiment in the ways you'd like to use toys. Some get aroused watching their partners use a sex toy in front of them. It's a great way to teach them how to use the vibe on you. Consider it a project you can do together.

Finding ways to bring up the subject of using a sex toy may difficult. Many people find just bringing up the subject intimidating. Even couples with the best communication skills find it difficult to discuss sex. Perhaps you can whisper the idea in your partner's ear during your next sexual encounter, bring up that you've fantasised about your partner using a vibrator on you, or go on-line and begin exploring the world of sex toys one evening over a glass of wine.

Open communication
Communicating your sexual desires can not only bring you more sexual satisfaction but can also deepen your relationship as a whole. It can bring you both to a new level of intimacy that you can explore together. Adding a toy to your sexual repertoire is a good place to start.

Adapted from www.libida.com

Sex toys: Playing it safe

Sex toys offer a great opportunity for sexual pleasure with less risk of getting sexually transmitted infections. But there are still steps to take to avoid infection.

• Wash your toys with soap and warm water after use.
• Always use a condom over any toy that is used for penetrative play.
• If you share a toy with your partner, make sure you each use a new condom everytime you swop.
• Softskin toys should be washed and then dusted with cornflour before storage. Wash the cornflour off before the next use. Do not use talc as you may have a reaction to it.
• Anything that is used for anal insertion must have a “butt plug” (like a disc at the base of the toy) to stop it disappearing up the rectum. Without a stopper, the peristaltic action of the rectum will suck up anything that it can and you will be making an embarrassing journey to the emergency room.
• Always make sure that you remove your tampon before sex. It seems obvious but many women forget and the tampon then gets pushed too high up in the vagina and may cause an infection.
• Whenever you engage in any kind of anal play, use three times the amount of lubricant you think you may need. The anus does not self-lubricate and the surrounding skin is extremely delicate and tears easily.
• When using fingers for penetration, use a condom, latex glove or finger condoms for protection against germs and to avoid being scratched by sharp or jagged fingernails.
• Oils, petroleum jelly and lotions all perish and weaken latex condoms and may cause them to break. Only use purpose-made lubricants. Popular choices include K-Y Jelly and Assegaai.
• When engaging in vaginal and anal intercourse, make sure you use a new condom before moving between the two to avoid causing any form of infection.

Boo Prince, SEXetc

How to eroticise safer sex

Why is it that most adults, even though they now know of the risk associated with unsafe sex, still refuse to use condoms on a regular basis?

Because condoms allegedly "interfere with sensation, take away from the warmth of the real thing, and are smelly, inconvenient and simply...no fun."

But wait! Condoms are also about "Attitude." Yes, they do take away some sensation, but they no longer have to be a bother, ugly or smelly. There are far too many new ones on the market that have done battle with those old stereotypes.

The secret to eroticising condom use is to make "friends" with your condom. Remember that, like cooking, it’s just an attitude and a little knowledge about the type of material involved helps. Some tips for the both of you to keep in mind:

Know what you are dealing with

• Take out a test condom and explore it; feel its smooth texture; stretch it.
• Lick, smell it; or blow it up like a balloon.
• Whatever you choose to do – have fun with it.
• Find something you find erotic about the material.

Put it on with flare

• Put it in your mouth with the ring just inside the lips and roll it over your partner’s penis with your lips and tongue. The condom should unroll from the inside of the ring as it goes down. Try it, it is not that difficult.
• Slather it with your favorite lube.
• One of the biggest mistakes condom users make is not using enough lube. Even if your condom says that it’s lubricated, it still only contains a fraction of the lube necessary for a longer session of love-making. Dryness can take away from the sensation and can even make the experience unpleasant or painful.

More pleasure for him
Dab a little on to the inside top of the condom before rolling it on. This will allow the condom to move against the penis, giving him more sensation:

• Thin condoms offer more of a real sensation, period.
• Go bigger. Many men need to move a size up. Too tight cuts off sensation.

Pleasure for her Women’s pleasure-condoms have ridges and ribs that increase tactile sensation against the labia and entrance to the vagina.

Spice up the experience
If you are put off by the scent of latex or condoms, try a flavored one. Banana, strawberry and mint are all fun flavours.

If you feel an irritation every time you use a condom stop using that particular type. You may have an allergy either to the latex or the lubricant/spermicide already on the condom.

Alternatives
Try a latex-free condoms such as the Female Condom. Look for condoms that are free of any spermicide or lubricant, or use your own lubricant.